Trust in a relationship is mainly about feeling safe with your better half. Broken promises, lies and infidelity can seriously affect the trust between two lovers, wife and husband. It does not mean there’s no way to save a marriage that is taking a wrong turn. To rebuild trust isn’t easy, especially when there’s a significant breach. It is possible when both partners are committed to the process of reconciliation.
It takes a lot of effort and time to rebuild the level of safety that is required for a marriage to go on smoothly and grow further. The process of getting out of trauma caused by loss of trust is what is challenging too many couples; it is where may get couples to get stuck.
The following points are what has been found out to be what couples need to get out of the past broken trust:
-Knowing the details
-Releasing the anger
-Rebuilding the relationship
It doesn’t matter if you were the betrayed or the offending partner; in order to restore confidence in a marriage, both of you must have a renewed commitment to one another.
Know the details
The offending partner must be ready to reveal all the information and must be very honest with whichever information he or she is sharing. Clear answers should be given to questions posed by partners. This is important as it provides the betrayed person a clear picture of what transpired. What happened, when, and where? When can be the main course of it, and what circumstances mitigated the situation?
Even tiny breaches of marriage trust can lead to emotional, mental, and even physical health problems. Partner may fail to have a sound sleep or become irritable over very small issues.
Sometimes it is difficult to let go of emotions and anger; it is at this point where the betrayed person comes in and shows the kind of affection and feelings they have. Try to evaluate the impact of your betrayal on other people and you. Have a bigger picture of how life can change or be disrupted and all the doubts and questions that will emerge. Make your lover aware of these things and feelings.
The offending partner should also come in and have a reflection and express feelings of resentment that he or she might be going through before the incident.
This is especially for the betrayed, but both parties may be wondering if the relationship will work out or if it is still well for them.
Acts of empathy- frustration, pain, and anger and showing regret and remorse and accepting and allowing space for validation and acknowledgments can be a big step towards the healing of both parties.
With the explicit agreement of both parties, it can give partners a proper understanding as they proceed with their relationship, knowing very well what is required of each partner and the expectations moving ahead and whet need to be fulfilled.
Both parties must provide what is required to stay committed to ensuring the relationship will work out. In doing so avoid using words that can trigger misunderstanding and anger like, never, must, always in explaining what you wish to be done. Instead, use words that lead to open communication.
Set goals and be realistic on the toke you want those goals to be achieved and getting your marriage back to where it needs to be. It is vital to know that time is required in the requirement of rebuilding trust and needs the following:
• Deciding to be forgiven or forgive– try to let go of the past and make a decision to love again. It can take some time to achieve this, but commitment is essential here.
• Being open to improvement and self-growth– you can’t rebuild a broken relationship with empty promises. The cause of betrayal needs to be found and first and worked on by both parties and to come up with a long-lasting solution.
• Being aware of inner feelings and sharing your point of view– when you leave the whole thing to one side, you aren’t going to find a solution. It is essential to discuss the issue openly with one another and arrive at a conclusion.
• Wait it to work– there’s no space for more lies or lip services. Just be honest and be true to what you want.
Once the above factors have been put into considerations, regularly check to make sure you are on the right track.
For the offender
Being a victim, it might be painful to be reminded of your sins from time to time. But remember the above steps are essential to continuously work on them to have a good marriage. It happens you are the one who offended your partner by cheating or broke marriage trust; it is essential to show that act is gone by changing your behavior. This means you will be more open, no more secrets, lies, or anything else; you have to be completely transparent and open going forward and be honest.
As an offender, take full responsibility for your actions. Justify your behavior basing on what your spouse has been doing in the past that offended you.
For the betrayed
The process of moving forward and forgetting want happened highly depends on what your partner is doing to you.
It would help if you seriously worked on getting to understand thoroughly why you were betrayed in the first place. It can help you find out more answers you need to understand the situation.
Once you have committed to forgiving your partner and loving him or her back, try as much as possible to provide a positive response to whatever goes on between you.
It is also important to state here that sometimes it is not good to continue with a relationship after considering the above factors.
For the couple
Even though we have some things that need to be done independently but always remember to:
Carefully listen to each other
Makes each other aware that you want honest answers
Rebuilding the relationship
One both parties have decided to rebuild a relationship; they need to treat it as a completely be a thing. Both parties must be clear on what they need or expecting moving forward.
Stop withhold trust, although it is the same person, try to forgive the person, withholding trust completely will prevent you from reconnecting emotionally with your partner.
Instead, work to rebuild your love relationship by doing whatever right is required and establish a mutually supportive relationship.
It is important to note that work is required in any relationship. You need to work hard to renew your connection to take the same direction.
Getting professional help
You can rebuild a broken relationship by going through the above five stated processes and have a happier, healthier, and honest relationship.
You can also reach out to a marriage coach to help you to solve the issues and help you move forward. Both parties must be honest in receiving marriage coaching from a professional; both must be ready for a better relationship. A coach has a better understanding and experience in understanding what happened and will offer you the best solution to the problem.
Communication, re-establishment, and connection are beneficial forms of treatment to any relationship. By seeking the services of a therapist and working hard, the chances are that you will end up with a more robust marriage.