While you may have a good relationship, for the most part, you may run into some trouble. Like most couples, you may begin to take each other for granted and blame your partner for everything. This is no need to worry. It is easy to fix these mistakes. There are four mistakes people make in their marriage and some common solutions to fix them. A marriage does not have to end due to some of these mistakes and they can be easily fixed.
Story Telling to the Extreme
When he did not fix something around the house for the third week in a row you may complain to your friends. Your mother-in-law may bring up something that you have been disagreeing about and you know what he told her. Everyone is going to get annoyed with somethings and will need to talk about it. Giving too many details may not be a good thing.
What are the issues in the marriage here? While venting is okay and even needed sometimes do not bad mouth the other person too much. This can lead to issues in the marriage. Do you want everyone thinking that your marriage is a big mess? Focusing on what you do not like about the other person will make you forget what you do like about them. If you complain too often to others you can become a victim. You are missing out on the chance of getting your needs met. It is better to talk to your partner. If there are children in the marriage do not vent to them. They should not be asked to listen or to take sides.
Relationship Fix: do not share every detail with others. Keep some things to yourself. When talking about their flaws mention some of your own. During family, gatherings take the time to praise each other. Say nice things about each other and show the family that it was just a passing moment.
Poor Me Syndrome
This happens when he just agrees but does not want to have a confrontation. It is destructive to keep your mouth shut all the time. Nothing will get fixed and you can build up resentment over the long run. There are times when you may have to speak up rather than letting the problem fester and turn into a bigger issue.
Relationship Fix: This fix can be simple. You need to say how you feel. Take some time to talk when you both are relaxed and offer some solutions to the problem. This can allow you to express your feelings without causing a fight. You should speak calmly and be careful not to attack the other person.
Fighting Over Things
He complains when you allow your paperwork to lay around and you ask him if he really needs all of his extra things. The problem is that there are quarks that will drive you crazy but you need to get used to this. This is part of marriage. Everyone brings some things into the marriage and it often drives the other person crazy.
Relationship fix: there may be some items that are important to you. If your spouse has a collection that you hate just ignore it. It is not really a big deal in the long run. If something really bothers you, work with them to reach a compromise. For example, you may each sell some of your items so you can purchase something together and keep some other things in a back room.
Life is busy. You both work, take care of the house and the children and go about your day. By the time that you are done, you may not have head work to your partner. Even bedtime has become something just for sleeping. The romance was just a thing of the past and now at the end of the day, you just want some peace.
There is a problem here. If you do not spend time with your partner you are seeing your relationship as something casual and something that you may not need. You may forget why you are in a relationship with this person. People become detached and there are some cases where they do not want to be bothered anymore.
Relationship Fix: people like to be around those that are kind. Remove some distractions from life and find a way to reconnect. You can go for a short walk or even spend some time doing a hobby such as a puzzle. Turn the TV off for a few minutes and talk. This will end up making a big difference in the end.
If there is too much space in the bedroom work on getting back with each other. Most marriage problems begin in the bedroom. In order to bring your self-life back, you may have to schedule it at first on certain nights or even talk yourself into being interested. Soon it will be worth it and you can get in the mood without all of this. Good sex life can make a relationship stronger.
5 Things That Every Marriage Needs
- Altruism: Couple that put the happiness of their partners’ before their own are happier with their marriage than those that put their own happiness first.
- Be Friends: Some time with each other is needed and while you both need to be social you need to talk to each other.
- Commitment: you need to be willing to work on your relationship so it can stay strong and you do not lose that connection.
- Jokes: it is important to have some jokes that are just between you and your partner. This may sound silly but it does work and will help you have that connection.
- Rituals: Every couple needs something that is their own. It can be something such as going out to a special place during their anniversary or even something as simple as a kiss goodnight before going to be the bed.