One of the roadblocks and challenges many marriages face is infidelity. It is a vice that has wrecked marriages and instigated divorce proceedings, child custody battles, and alimony disputes. Some couples manage to overcome this betrayal and once again become one, but is life the same after infidelity? People exhibit different attitudes and reactions when confronted with the infidelity issue. Couples with existing trust issues would have an especially difficult time facing and coping with such betrayal from somebody whom they once loved unconditionally.
It is fair to say that some marriages can successfully go through this hurdle, but it is important to keep in mind the following facts:
- It leaves an indelible mark of betrayal.
- It requires patience and time to heal.
- It is not an easy process.
- The victim couple goes through a series of mixed emotions.
- The victim also has to take some fault.
- It will need courageous individuals.
- It will take a strong personality to overcome the trust issues for a successful reunion.
- It will also require the intervention of a professional marriage counselor.
- It will require two committed souls to overcome the infidelity issue.
The cheating spouse has to take full responsibility for his/her actions for the process to start on the right track.
There are many cases where couples reunite and forge forward, leaving their hurtful past behind. However, the process requires effort from both parties to make the reunion a success. Both have to accept their responsibility and take the blame in their line of actions to leave the past behind. Initiating a truce will require the following:
- Creating and generating meaningful talks.
- Overcoming denial, defensive temper, and blame games.
- Developing an effective communication channel.
- Exercising total honesty and fidelity.
- Softening their emotions and learning to forgive.
- Creating time for each other to express some of the underlying vulnerable emotions.
- Offloading the old emotional baggage.
It also helps to be aware of the emotions that develop after the cheating experience. People fail to rekindle their love due to clogging the emotions that slowly grow into hatred. A couple who is interested in healing and moving on requires courage and teamwork to fight shame, blame, hurt, anger, jealousy, disappointment, lust, mistrust, denial, rage, and guilt.
Life is too short to wait for somebody to get their act together. Some separations are hard to fix, even impossible; therefore, it is wise for these couples to move forward in search of productive relationships. The onslaught of mixed feelings and emotions may culminate to a point where divorce becomes the ideal solution. Infidelity cases that instigate continuous domestic violence and emotional abuse are not worthwhile. In these cases, it would be best for everybody to go their separate ways to avoid intense confrontations and fights that could negatively impact those involved.
Those whose spouses have a series of cheating escapades may have a hard time moving forward. On the other hand, couples with a single cheating experience may have an easy time overcoming the infidelity issues. It becomes a challenge when the cheating spouse regresses and finds the bad habit difficult to drop. Second chances are rare in life, and when offered with one, it is important for the cheating spouse to exercise reason to avoid falling in a similar trap. Partners who show remorse are more likely to learn from their previous mistakes. Look for some positive signs to help you make the right call.
The couple must be willing to compromise some comforts and allow their partners to become more involved in their lives. The most effective way to facilitate this is exercising transparency by handing over the phone and social media account passwords. Some couples may try to win the trust of their spouses by installing GPS tracking apps. You may also be willing to take a lie detector test in the effort to earn trust and honesty.
Seek professional help
Couples who have gone through infidelity need professional help from a licensed psychologist or therapist who has experience in marriage coaching. They always give insight and professional direction in critical areas that need deliberation or external intervention. Couples who are unsure of the process could try a method called Discernment Counseling. Some people need closure from a third party, and it is much easier to confide in a professional counselor. Every process has an initial struggle, but you will never find closure until you make a move and take the first step to get help.