What to look for in a failing marriage
Love and vows are the glue that holds a couple together. But certain individual differences will always create cracks even, within the strongest bonds between married people who love each other. Differences in opinion, for instance, can create a dispute that may break a marriage. And if a dispute doesn’t lead to an immediate divorce, it may be a recipe of a slowly developing separation.
These conflicts can serve as red flags. Fortunately, it is easy to read these red flags and make corrections as needed. Just like any other sign of doom, these indicators can prove too late to solve if you overlook or ignore them over a long period of time..
The best way of addressing such a problem is to establish an effective communication channel with your partner – a problem shared is a problem solved. But that’s not an easy maneuver to pull in such a situation, although it can go a long way to save your marriage.
All marriages undergo episodes of disagreements – that’s perfectly normal. But it takes the most determined couples to fight hard to save the marriage. If there are sufficient reasons to save the marriage, and you both feel you love each other, you have to come up with solutions to your problems, strengthen the bond, and keep your marriage going.
The faster you react to the red flags the better. You must not address the disagreements alone. Sometimes professional help can be exactly what you need to get back on track. You can contact us and let us help you sail through the situation.
Look for these signs:
1. You disagree and fight in front of your kids.
It isn’t a particularly good thing to have loud disagreements and fights in front of your children – not only does it implant unwanted attitudes in their still-developing minds, but the violence can also be traumatic to their psyche. It is also another way of showing them what an irresponsible parent you are.
2. You have lately felt withdrawn towards your partner.
The chemistry is no longer there. You are jealous of other couples and believe they are luckier than you and your spouse. Also, you have lately begun questioning your decision to get married to your spouse.
3. Reduced couple activity
It takes two to make a successful marriage. A successful marriage is fun, and with everything happy-go-lucky, it’s something that everyone wants. But you have realized lately that you and your partner no longer have anything in common. This disinterest is one of the common elements that wrecks marriages; watch out for it.
4. The disparity in values and goals
Successful marriages are run in unison, with couples helping each other to achieve goals and values. But that is only possible if the couple was brought together by common goals and values. If the couple was indeed brought together by common aspirations, but it has started to experience a sudden shift in such spirits, the marriage could be doomed.
5. Unreasonable anger whenever your spouse makes a minor mistake
We all make mistakes. Marriage brings together two people who are ready to accept and work around each other’s flaws. Each partner ought to strive to support the other partner to improve. If you find yourself unable to take or put up with your partner’s mistakes, there is a strong chance your marriage is headed to failure.
6. Loss of emotional attachment to your partner
Emotional connection is what brings a couple together in the first place – married people are emotionally connected and rely on each other for emotional support. Trust issues are the major destroyer of emotional connection in a marriage. If you are of opinion that your partner is cheating on you, for instance, you are more likely to lose connection to them, and that could mean the termination of the marriage.
7. Recurrent arguments
Do you find yourselves arguing about the same things over and over? There is a likelihood that you have difficulty in solving issues and leaving them in the past. Loving couples in successful marriages let bygones be bygones, regardless of their weight. If you are finding it hard to move forward, then it could mean the oil in your marriage’s wheels is depleted – you can either add oil or send the marriage to parking.
Here are other red flags you need to look for:
– You used to flatter each other with compliments, but you’ve lately stopped.
– You used to readily support each other, but not anymore.
– Minor disagreements nowadays spiral out of control.
– There is a near-total breakdown in all communication channels.
– You’ve lately become insecure of your spouse’s internet activity (your spouse deactivated “last seen” on WhatsApp, for instance, …and you’re not sure what’s going on).
– Your attitude changes whenever your partner is around.
– Domestic violence is on the increase, whether physical or emotional.
– Your marriage has started to be an emotional burden, and you feel stressed most of the time.
– You have discovered some secret activities on your partner’s side, like questionable calls and texts.
– You never have quality time together as a family/married couple.
– You feel compelled to cheat, either as revenge or to fill the emotional hole.
No marriage should come to a grinding halt after all the investment. Couples should understand that commitment is the gas that runs a marriage. Everyone should commit 100% to a marriage, and if any red flags are observed, prompt measures should be taken to return the marriage to its normal trajectory.
Seek a professional marriage coach
A troubled marriage is very much like recurrent symptoms of a disease; you don’t wait until it is too late to seek treatment. A certified marriage coach can help you address almost any issue that might be negatively impacting your marriage. If you are having communication issues, for instance, the marriage coach will work with you and your spouse to restore effective communication. Whether a marriage coach is your first option or last resort, they can go a long way to save your marriage and help you live a happy life with your partner again.