1. “Thank you.”

“Thanks for cleaning the house, babe.” My husband’s words of gratitude are music to my ears. After spending several hours juggling cleaning and taking care of a two-year-old, I’m exhausted, ready to crash on the couch and just rest and appreciate all my hard work. I don’t expect a thank you at all, but knowing he sees and appreciates what I am doing makes what I am doing all the more fulfilling. As a wife and mother, it is truly my joy to take care of my family in the ways I know how. It’s simply an unspoken understanding that I have. While it may seem a bit old-fashioned to some, especially in this modern, non-traditional age, I find joy and pride in keeping a clean, safe home for my family. I love contributing in this way. Some wives find joy in their roles by doing other things: working a fulltime job, planning fun things to do, cooking delicious meals, blogging, and enjoying a game of football. No matter what your wife does to make your home, your family, and your life happy and healthy, tell her thank you. She needs to be reminded that what she is doing matters, is important, and is appreciated. A simple thank you goes a long way.  

2. “I love you.”

Contrary to popular belief, hearing this never gets old. Even during our most intense arguments, my husband and I never go to bed, leave the house, or hang up the phone without telling each other we love each other. It is especially during those heated moments that we need to hear those words the most. We need to be reminded why we are fighting; we are fighting for something bigger than ourselves. These words ground us, bring us back to reality, bring us back to what is most important.

Even in everyday life, women simply need or want affirmation. They need to hear that you love them because this tells them they are valued and appreciated. To hear these words is a precious gift as it reminds them that they are cherished, respected, and safe.

3. “You’re beautiful.” 

Women endure a lot of changes–emotional, physical, hormonal, and mental. Our bodies and emotional well-being fluctuate throughout our lives, leaving some of us feeling insecure, unworthy, and unwanted. Because society places so much emphasis on a woman’s beauty, many women struggle with how they look throughout their entire lives. Many rest a good portion of their identities in their looks. There’s a reason why the cosmetic industry is booming: from haircuts to botox, women are the number one consumers of all things beauty.  Whether or not your wife has children, she will still face the changes that time brings. Remind her that she will always be beautiful simply because of who she is and her importance to you. Trust me, when she’s exhausted, covered in puke, or has been wearing the same sweatpants all weekend, she likely feels at her worst, so take the opportunity to tell her she’s beautiful. It will immediately lift her spirits.

4. “What can I do to help you?”

I know sometimes my moods can get the best of me. If I have a bad day at work and then come home to see my husband’s clothes scattered on the floor, I’ll admit I may throw a temper tantrum. As immature as it sounds, I know that this explosion is a culmination of little things. While I should do a better job of communicating these little frustrations, it is nice to have some help every now and then. Picking things up may take a few seconds, but they go a long way in the eyes of your wife. Offering to help her with the kids or with other tasks tells her that you see what she’s doing, noticing she’s overwhelmed, and want to help lessen her stress. Even if your wife declines your offer to help, she loves you all the more just for taking some initiative.

Bottom line

What it really boils down to is being appreciated, loved, and respected. Women have so many expectations thrust upon them, and we really try to live up to them all. We want to please our husbands and raise our children to be the best they can be. In that process, we sometimes lose ourselves. Don’t let us. Remind us that we matter, that we are important, and that we deserve a pat on the back now and then. 

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